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Old 09-06-2016, 07:54 AM   #1
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Smile Humor!!

Deaf Bookkeeper

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?" Guido signs back, "I don't know what you

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you

Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house." The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"
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Old 09-06-2016, 10:53 AM   #2
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Good one !
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Old 09-06-2016, 08:21 PM   #3
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Old 09-08-2016, 03:39 PM   #4
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Talking

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Old 09-09-2016, 01:33 PM   #5
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This may have been done before, but it fits.......

A very successful man had raised three very respectful sons: a doctor, a businessman, and a lawyer. One day he called them together and told them he had but one last request. He asked each of them to place one hundred dollars in his coffin in appreciation of everything he had done to help them in their lives. They all agreed.

When that fateful day came the businessman stepped forward to say his final goobyes and quietly slipped a crisp $100 bill in his dad's suit pocket.

Next the doctor stepped forward, and like his brother before him slipped a crisp $100 in the jacket pocket.

Finally the lawyer stepped up, quietly he removed the two crisp $100 bills from the pocket and slipped the check he had written for $300 into his dad's pocket.
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Old 09-09-2016, 05:02 PM   #6
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A lawyer buys a new Cadillac and wants to have it blessed.
He goes to the Protestant minister who lays hands on the hood and prays, "Bless, O Lord, this shiny new Cadillac!"
The man then goes to the priest, who sprinkles it with holy water and prays over the new car in Latin.The man then takes it to the rabbi, who prays over the car in Hebrew...and cuts off two inches of the tailpipe.
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Old 09-09-2016, 07:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim-Bev-2363 View Post
A lawyer buys a new Cadillac and wants to have it blessed.
He goes to the Protestant minister who lays hands on the hood and prays, "Bless, O Lord, this shiny new Cadillac!"
The man then goes to the priest, who sprinkles it with holy water and prays over the new car in Latin.The man then takes it to the rabbi, who prays over the car in Hebrew...and cuts off two inches of the tailpipe.
Still laughing!
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Old 09-10-2016, 05:26 AM   #8
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Why did my Presbyterian parents trim my tale-pipe, or is that tail-pipe? We weren't Jewish. Maybe they tried to keep up with the Yochanan family neighbors. All I can say is I'm glad I was just a baby when it happened. The pain made the baby in me cry. The thought of my lost "tail-pipe" made me cry as a young man. And as a old man with six children, 21 grandchildren and 13 great-grandchildren I almost wish they had taken it all.
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Old 09-11-2016, 07:10 PM   #9
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Good ones!
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