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Old 11-22-2014, 08:16 AM   #1
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Wink Some Saturday AM humor...

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right! All you idiots fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ‘em, huh, sir?”
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Old 11-22-2014, 02:25 PM   #2
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Cute thanks for the grin
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Old 11-22-2014, 05:16 PM   #3
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Well on his way to becoming a General!
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Old 11-28-2014, 05:14 AM   #4
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Smile good humor

thanks, Jannalee, for the smile this morning. After Thanksgiving gathering of the clan, I'm tired!
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Old 11-28-2014, 07:31 AM   #5
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ONE MORE??
Freya was driving home on Black Friday when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road outside Albuquerque, New Mexico. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?

With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. Freya tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman.

The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to Freya.

'What's in the bag?' asked the old woman.

'It's a bottle of gin that I got for my husband.'

The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'
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Old 11-28-2014, 07:34 AM   #6
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ONE MOREFreya was driving home on Black Friday when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road outside Albuquerque, New Mexico. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?

With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. Freya tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman.

The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to Freya.

'What's in the bag?' asked the old woman.

'It's a bottle of gin that I got for my husband.'

The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'
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Old 11-28-2014, 08:35 AM   #7
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Lol!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by janalee View Post
one morefreya was driving home on black friday when she saw an elderly apache woman walking along the side of the road outside albuquerque, new mexico. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?

With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. Freya tried in vain to make conversation with the apache woman.

The old apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to freya.

'what's in the bag?' asked the old woman.

'it's a bottle of gin that i got for my husband.'

the apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'good trade.'
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Old 12-03-2014, 06:32 AM   #8
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Smile

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish... On any land... No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?" The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big bull. With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.

The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs: "Your badge! Show him your badge!!"
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Old 12-03-2014, 03:59 PM   #9
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Along the same lines. A farmer is thrown in jail for bank robbery but no money is recovered his wife comes to visit and he tells her "whatever you don't tell them about the money buried in the lower 40". A few weeks goes by and she comes again and tells him a bunch of people came and dug up the field what should I do? His replay "plant the potatoes"
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